Writing Wedding Vows
Most couples don’t struggle with love. They may struggle with finding the right words to express their love.
I see it often. People want their vows to sound right, to feel true, to reflect the depth of what they carry for one another. Sitting down to write can feel surprisingly vulnerable. What belongs in this moment? What should be spoken aloud? What can stay private?
Perfection
Vows don’t need to be perfect. They need to be honest.
Some people write easily. Others need time, reflection, or gentle guidance. There is no one way. What matters is that the words sound like you.
You can write about what you enjoy and want to continue enjoying in married life. You can talk about the simple things that helped your relationship grow. You can speak about the ways you’ve changed, the challenges you’ve faced, and how your partner influenced that growth or stood beside you through those challenges. These are often the truths that feel most natural to say out loud.
The finale of all vows ends with a commitment—promises spoken with intention. They reflect how you choose to show up for one another and how you intend to stand by each other, not just on the wedding day, but throughout the life you are building together.
Guidance
Over the years, I have seen many people writing personal vows who need a little guidance. I share with them what I’m sharing with you, along with some prewriting concepts to help jumpstart their thinking.
Your Witnesses
Family and friends witnessing those vows are listening to every word. The joy, tears, and laughter in that moment may fade, but the vows are the words that stay with them.
When vows are written from the heart, they don’t feel insincere. They feel like a promise being made with care, with awareness, and with the meaning of who stands before you.
If you find yourself unsure where to begin, start with what you know to be true. Let the rest unfold naturally.
